I’m pretty bored at work, so I just went down to the corner store, bought a Coke and a Pepsi, and had myself a blind taste test. The results? Coke tastes like Coke, Pepsi tastes like Pepsi*. At some point in my life I’m going to have to stop doing dumb shit like this.
*Same results as when I did this EXACT SAME THING 6 months ago.
So I turn 28 this saturday. Cool, right? I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life for this. Finally, I’m old enough to buy a house and start having kids! Does anyone have any mulching tips? Seriously though, birthdays are totally worthless at this point. So is keeping track of age, frankly. It can only depress you. A birthday used to at least be a nice excuse to get totally shitfaced, but I no longer need an excuse for that. Due to my excessive weight loss, getting drunk is now all too easy. Most saturday nights I end up getting drunker than I want to anyway. Shooters, a former necessity, are now something I can barely handle. On my birthday last year, for instance, I took waaay too many jaeger shots and was completely blacked out by midnight. Is that fun? I don’t remember anything, but I’m told I was being a total dick to some friends of a buddy of mine, going so far as to knock a drink out of one of their hands. I’m hoping to avoid a repeat performance. Behavior like that is simply not befitting a 28-year-old man, even if he does have the income and maturity level of a 21-year-old man.
Adding to complications is the fact that I have a show saturday. It’s the last in my monthly series at parkside lounge and I’m expecting a good crowd, so I want to push the envelope a little. This means I’ll have to get my drink on before the show. Given that the show is at 8:30 instead of my customary 11:00 o’clock time slot, I’ll probably start tippin’ a few back at about 6. Early start combined with birthday shooters? Methinks I’m in for a long night. Anyone have any tips for staying coherent in such circumstances?
Bullet points baby!
- I won $35 playing poker the other night. Then I spent it all on dog food. Now I’m right back where I started.
- Ran into my girl Jewles while taking Stella for a walk the other day. Apparently she lives in Greenpoint, which is a pretty crazy coincidence. She looked great, its obvious her new owner (whose name was Laura I think) is taking good care of her. This makes me very happy.
- I’ve officially become a dog-walker. Started with my first client this week, a family in Boerum Hill with a huge shepard mix and a black lab mutt. I really like these dogs, and I love the neighborhood. I hope to get a few more clients down there. Walking dogs for rich people in the nicest neighborhoods in brooklyn seems like a pretty sweet gig.
- Getting a new computer for my birthday. Since I don’t have cable in my new apartment (and might not for quite some time), expect blogging output to increase heavily.
- I’m also getting fresh direct deliveries from my mom and aunt. I’m really looking forward to those. I can already smell the fish. Birthdays, while no longer exciting, are still good for getting presents from my family. I can usually count on my parents, grandma, and aunt and uncle to really come through for me. A nice summer bonus.
- Re-read the entire Tolkien library* in the past 2 weeks. Just as good the 15th time.
*Official middle-earth canon only: Hobbit, LOTR, Silmarillion, Unfinished Tales, Children of Hurin.
Could you fit in an Outback joke replete with accent in lieu of this Sunday’s festivities?